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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506915">You’re Not Broken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wackadaisicl/pseuds/Wackadaisicl'>Wackadaisicl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Asexual Character, Asexual Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Assume Him And Nines Have Worked A Lot Of Things Out Over Time, Gavin Is Not Emotionally Constipated, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Sex, Internalized Acephobia, M/M, Please Read The CW In Author’s Note, Rape/Non-con Elements, nothing graphic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wackadaisicl/pseuds/Wackadaisicl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor felt out of place standing outside his brother’s apartment uninvited, but after an incident with his boyfriend he needs some advice. Thankfully, Gavin’s there to give some much-needed insight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Part Where Reed900 Does a Puzzle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CW!! This fic does talk about sex quite a bit and a there’s lot of internal acephobia but it’s something I think a lot of aces deal with. There’s also some implied accidental non-con but it isn’t graphic and nothing actually happens minus a discarded shirt. In summary, Markus unknowingly goes too far while him and Connor are kissing(lifts up Connor’s shirt) but Connor runs away and they talk it out later. </p><p>This has been sitting in my Google Docs for a long time and I finally decided to finish it. This was initially an elaborate excuse to write Reed900 doing a puzzle but recent events prompted me to finally write the second chapter with Markus. He’s probably way out of character since I never write him and it’s been awhile since I’ve even interacted with the fandom but I just wanted him to be a good boyfriend(*cough**cough* and say what I’ve really needed to hear recently *cough**cough*)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Connor felt extremely out of place standing outside Nines’ apartment. He’d only been here on a few occasions, all invited unlike this time. It seemed like the best option out of various poor ones. He couldn’t go back home to his own apartment, (or rather didn’t want to) Markus was most likely still there. Most of his friends were busy; including Hank, who he would normally go to when seeking advice. Though even if his partner wasn’t busy, he doubted he’d go to the older, single, alcoholic in his current situation. His brother, on the other hand, is in what appears to be a healthy relationship and additionally, though he’s reluctant to admit it, has more advanced software that could potentially be helpful.</p><p> </p><p>And so, Connor found himself knocking on his second confidante’s door in the dead of night. He was caught by surprise, not for the first time that night, by the muffled voice he identified as Gavin Reed’s from inside.</p><p> </p><p>“I got it.”</p><p> </p><p>After a few moments the door opened, revealing his brother’s boyfriend wearing an unusually soft expression.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, hey, Connor. What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>He just blinked in confusion as he regathered his thoughts. It wasn’t unusual for Gavin and Nines to be together and it made sense for one to go to the other’s apartment. That’s what couples did, after all. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t predicted such an occurrence. Perhaps he was more distracted than he had previously assumed. Wait, is that one of Nines’ turtlenecks?</p><p> </p><p>“I just… needed to talk to Nines,” he finally managed.</p><p> </p><p>Once again he was taken aback, this time by the concern that washed over Gavin’s features.</p><p> </p><p>“Is everything alright?” </p><p> </p><p>“Um, no… not really, actually.”</p><p> </p><p>Now it was Gavin’s turn to be shocked. It wasn’t common for Connor to hesitate like that when speaking and the android seemed freaked out, almost dazed, for some reason. He gestured for his boyfriend’s brother to come in and moved out of the way.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Connor asked as Gavin closed the door behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Nah, we were just doing a puzzle.”</p><p> </p><p>Connor couldn’t help but feel like he was, indeed, interrupting something as Gavin moved to the living room, carefully stepped over the partially formed image and scattered puzzle pieces, and lay belly-down next to Nines on the floor. It somehow seemed an intimate moment.</p><p> </p><p>After placing one of the puzzle pieces into its rightful place, his brother finally looked up and offered a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello, brother. What brings you over?”</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t anticipating having to talk about this in front of Gavin but he supposed if anything it was just another perspective and offered a good lead-in. Though, it was an awkward one.</p><p> </p><p>“I was hoping you could offer some advice? Uh-uhm, in regards to my relationship with Markus.”</p><p> </p><p>Nines’s LED switched from a content blue to a hesitant yellow. Connor’s anxious fidgeting did not go unnoticed.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, I’ll help however I can. What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>Connor really didn’t want to go right to what actually happened that resulted in this late night visit. He observed Gavin tangle his legs in Nines’ as he searched through some of the puzzle pieces still in the box and decided to start with his own question, instead.</p><p> </p><p>“I apologize in advance, I know this may be an uncomfortable question, but do you two partake in… sexual intimacy?”</p><p> </p><p>Gavin froze, eyes wide, and Nines’ eyebrows furrowed, though he didn’t appear as put-off by the question as his boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, why?”</p><p> </p><p>Again, he chose to ignore his brother’s question.</p><p> </p><p>“And you… enjoy it?”</p><p> </p><p>Gavin groaned as he threw his head onto the floor, though not hard enough to actually hurt himself. Connor didn’t need to scan his vitals to know his questions made the detective flustered, just as he had suspected they would.</p><p> </p><p>“Quite. Now, would you mind explaining why this is relevant?”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Connor took a moment as he struggled to articulate his thoughts. “I suppose I was wondering if my problem was something we may have in common as we were designed so similarly, however… “</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t. It was just him, which meant something was actually wrong with him and he had to figure out what.</p><p> </p><p>“Connor, would you please drop the vague descriptions and just tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I don’t think I’m attracted to Markus the way he is attracted to me,” he tried but Nines only looked more confused.</p><p> </p><p>“I was under the impression you had very strong, intimate feelings for Markus. What changed?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do!” He quickly defended, but then he wasn’t quite sure. “Or at least, I thought I do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well what do you mean, then?” His brother probed, getting frustrated.</p><p> </p><p>Gavin finally looked up with a curious gaze, seemingly analyzing Connor. He didn’t quite like it, is this what humans felt like when android’s scanned them?</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just… he often calls me ‘hot’ and North has said he’s told her he likes my ass and just earlier today we were kissing when… it started getting more heated. I-I panicked and ran. I’ve only recently noticed I’ve never really thought of him like that, the way he seems to think of me. I mean, I know he’s attractive objectively but I don’t really think about that when I look at him. I don’t know why.”</p><p> </p><p>The rambling only added to Connor’s frantic appearance, causing Nines’ LED to flash red for a brief moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure your feelings aren’t just platonic?” Nines asked carefully. Connor sighed before responding quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“No…”</p><p> </p><p>Nines hated seeing his brother so distraught like this. He desperately searched for a way to help when a solution came to mind. If he could feel Connor’s feelings firsthand, he’d be able to decipher them better and give a more educated response to his worries.</p><p> </p><p>Carefully, he untangled all of his limbs from his beloved and approached Connor with his arm outstretched, synthetic skin peeling back. Recognition flashed through his brother’s eyes before he accepted the unspoken offer.</p><p> </p><p>Connor didn’t know how he hadn’t thought about interfacing before but he was glad he could count on his brother to be level-headed when he needed it. As they connected he pushed forward all of his memories with Markus and every feeling he had ever felt in his presence.</p><p> </p><p>Only Gavin noticed the smiles that graced both the androids’ lips as he silently observed.</p><p> </p><p>Connor finished with his most recent memory of his boyfriend. The slight hesitation when Markus took off his shirt and latched onto Connor that quickly grew into a full-on panic as he lifted Connor’s shirt before getting shoved off his lap. Nines could feel his brother cringe in the present moment and decided to end the interface.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t say anything as he mulled over this new information. In many ways, Connor’s feelings for Markus greatly reminded him of his own towards Gavin. However, they were also extremely different in other’s. He couldn’t quite place how. It almost seemed like there was a layer missing.</p><p> </p><p>“Your feelings are definitely reminiscent of romance,” he started. “But it’s also different, I think. Or, different to my own anyways.”</p><p> </p><p>This supported Gavin’s growing suspicion, and he decided to finally speak up.</p><p> </p><p>“Connor, have you heard of asexuality?”</p><p> </p><p>Connor jerked his head towards Gavin, having somewhat forgotten he was there. He took a moment to process the question, then quickly looked up the term “asexual.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>Asexuality:</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-A recognized sexual orientation in the LGBTQIA+ community describing the absence or lack of sexual attraction</b>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“You believe I may be asexual?” Connor slowly asked Gavin.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, that’s what it sounds like to me anyway. What do you think?”</p><p> </p><p>Connor had to admit it did sound like his problem but it only brought up more questions. </p><p> </p><p>“I suppose it does seem right, but… but what am I supposed to tell Markus?”</p><p> </p><p>He felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he thought about what this meant for him and Markus. He really didn’t want to break up, he didn’t want to tell Markus he had unknowingly led him on for months, he didn’t want to lose the man he had grown to hold so dear.</p><p> </p><p>“Everything. Tell him as much as you know right now. Connor, it sounds to me like you really do love him but this is something you need to communicate. If sex isn’t something you want he needs to know. You both need to work out your desires and boundaries.”</p><p> </p><p>Connor felt bad for being so surprised at Gavin’s intelligent response. It seemed he had severely underestimated the detective’s competence.</p><p> </p><p>“Indeed. He’s probably very confused after the events of tonight, as well” Nines added.</p><p> </p><p>They had barely touched the real issue, though. Connor knew what he <em> should </em> tell Markus, the problem was he didn’t <em> want </em>to.</p><p> </p><p>“So I’m just supposed to- I don’t <em> want- </em>I-I…” He didn’t seem to be able to translate his dread to words.</p><p> </p><p>Gavin understood.</p><p> </p><p>“Markus loves you, you can work this out. You guys don’t need to break up unless that’s what you decide is best. I’ve known asexuals who were in long, committed relationships both with and without sex. You just need. To. Communicate.”</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose you’re right. I just-” Connor sighed. Gavin and Nines had heard enough of his anxieties tonight, he could talk about it with Markus when he got home. “Thank you. Both of you.”</p><p> </p><p>His smile started weak but quickly grew when Nines smiled back.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, brother, I’m always happy to help.”</p><p> </p><p>“Now go talk to your boyfriend, dipshit” Gavin said as he grabbed Nines’ hand and pulled him back to the floor. His words held no true malice.</p><p> </p><p>Connor gave his farewells before finally leaving.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I already have the second chapter written, I’ll either post it later today or tomorrow I just want to read through it again and make sure there aren’t any mistakes I missed or decide if it actually sucks and should never see the light of day. I hope you enjoyed, I know it’s kind of a mess but I hope the second chapter will connect with some aces out there who feel broken or like they’ll never be enough, much like Connor. Have a nice day/night and stay hydrated please :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Part Where Markus Helps Me- I mean Connor Accept His Identity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Connor finally finds himself outside his apartment after taking the long way home and has a long overdue conversation with Markus.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Is this a decent story or is it just my coping mechanism? I don’t know! That’s on being a shitty writer :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Connor stood tensed outside his own apartment, taking deep(unnecessary) breaths to calm his nerves. He couldn’t stay out there much longer, he had wasted enough time already, going so far as to take the long way home. Plus, he’d received a fair number of odd looks from his neighbors just getting home from work and it was only a matter of time before someone came and asked if he needed help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With one last deep breath, Connor turned the key that had been sitting in its lock for who knows how long and cautiously entered his apartment. He barely had a chance to lock the door again before Markus came rushing out from their kitchen and pulled him into a tight embrace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank god you’re okay, I was worried sick!” Connor was pulled from his shock when Markus jumped back after only a few seconds, making sure to leave a good amount of space between them. “Uhm, I’m sorry about earlier. I should’ve asked what you were comfortable with before…” he trailed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor found himself for the umpteenth time that night in some sort of shock. Why was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Markus</span>
  </em>
  <span> apologizing? He wasn’t the one who shoved his boyfriend and ran away with no explanation. He hadn’t done anything wrong, it was Connor’s fault.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, hey. Connor? Look, if you need some space for awhile I understand but could you please talk to me?” His voice was faint and full of uncertainty. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> should be the one apologizing… I was the one who ran out on you and-and I led you on and-” he cringed at his own rambling but he just </span>
  <em>
    <span>could not</span>
  </em>
  <span> gather a single thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Led me on? What are you talking about, babe?” Markus was scowling. Connor mimicked a swallowing motion, trying desperately to translate his feelings to words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t… I don’t feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> way about you. I’ve tried, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> have, and I do love you, or at least I think I do? But-but, I just can’t seem to-” he groaned, frustrated with himself. Not only is something so horribly wrong with him but he can’t even put it into words. He, Connor Anderson, RK800 with access to the entire dictionary of every language, can’t find the words to express his thoughts and feelings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Markus looked scared, which Connor understood. He was not known for outbursts like this, he was scared too. But then Markus offered his arm, white chassis revealed, with a cautious smile and Connor forced himself to collect his emotions enough to enter a safe interface. He pushed forward all the emotions he had in his interface with Nines but this time he added his current feelings, raw and unorganized. He also added Gavin’s suggestion that he may be asexual and he felt a sense of clarity from Markus in turn as if he finally understood everything that had happened that night. They disconnected the interface and Markus led him to the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Babe, why didn’t you say anything earlier?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just thought that if I waited long enough, those feelings would come. I didn’t want you to know something was wrong with me, I didn’t want to lose you. I know that’s selfish but-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing is </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you,” Markus interjected “You’re asexual, not broken!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But… if I can’t love you, what’s the point of even being deviant? All these emotions </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> given and I can’t feel this one? Something </span>
  <em>
    <span>must</span>
  </em>
  <span> be wrong!” Markus shook his head, smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You love me. I felt it in our interface and every interface we’ve had since our first ‘I love you’s. You lack sexual attraction, not love and not </span>
  <em>
    <span>romantic</span>
  </em>
  <span> attraction.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor processed this for a moment. He searched ‘asexual’ again and found a site called AVEN. Searching through the website he found numerous explanations of the difference between sexual and romantic identities. He found stories of long, healthy relationships between one or more “aces” just as Gavin had mentioned and he’d unconsciously dismissed. When he finally pushed the tab aside to focus on Markus again, he found his boyfriend’s gaze focused on his LED before leaving to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you don’t care that I don’t- that I can’t-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not, love. I love you just the way you are and I don’t expect anything from you that you aren’t comfortable with.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connor couldn’t help but find little solace in such comfort. Of course he knew Markus would never force him into something he didn’t want, that’s not what he was worried about. The real issue is that Markus </span>
  <em>
    <span>wants </span>
  </em>
  <span>something he can’t give when all he’s ever wanted is to give Markus everything. He didn’t know what to tell Markus, whether he should just leave it at that and figure the rest out later or if he should push the conversation farther, but he had to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know that, it’s just… what about what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>want? I can’t be everything you want or-or need from me, how is that fair to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Markus didn’t answer right away, likely contemplating how to respond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> you to be everything,” he finally said, “I just want </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, exactly the way you are, and for you to know that that’s enough. That </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>enough.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>If androids could cry, Connor was sure he would be a gross mess by now. He was so overwhelmed with relief and love. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So much love. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He pulled Markus closer in just a hug at first but when Connor found that wasn’t enough to express everything he was feeling without physically crushing Markus, he pulled back and connected their lips. Involuntarily, the artificial skin on his lips and surrounding face disappeared but he didn’t mind, he just opened an interface for Markus to accept. As soon as he did it was like an impossible, two-way floodgate opened. As much as his own feelings had an escape from his enclosed, metaphorical heart, he was being overwhelmed with waves from his boyfriend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. </span>
  </em>
  <span>So much of this feeling was passed between them that Connor stopped being able to tell apart his feelings from Markus’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they finally pulled apart and their skin moved to cover their faces again, Markus had a blue tint on his cheeks, mimicking a flush. It was adorable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can talk about this more tomorrow if you want but I’m ready to settle down for the rest of the night if you’re okay with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am far beyond due for a stasis session” Connor replied, grateful. Markus chuckled and Connor grinned dopily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They moved to their bedroom and situated themselves comfortably under the covers, facing each other. With one last goodnight kiss, Connor placed his forehead against his partner’s chest and entered stasis. He spent the night researching his new-found identity with a new sense of clarity and hope.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yay, they talked things out and Connor hates himself less! Always a good thing. It’s very likely only asexuals will like this story but that’s okay because y’all are who I wrote this for! If you did enjoy it, you can leave kudos or even a comment if you want, it’s much appreciated! If not, thanks for stopping by! Have a fantabulous day/night, love yourself and stay hydrated please :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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